im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize