gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
