careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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