The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
