I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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