last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
it was like his penis was on wheels.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
