I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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