also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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