i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
