I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
