that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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