That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize