You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
