Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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