nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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