and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize