Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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