He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
