I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
ugly people sure do ruin things
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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