Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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