I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
