I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
