That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
