Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The adults are the big ones right?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
