I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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