So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
