i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
