are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
