Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
