you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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