i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
