yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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