I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize