they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
