I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
