He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Randomize
