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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'

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• (415): View more from California

  well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (936): View more from Texas

  My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Did you offer her some?

  (330): View more from Ohio

  If only. Current status: Not that clever.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow

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