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champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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