I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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