I love black thongs
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...