I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
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Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
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They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires