The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
