your parents love me but you hate me
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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