I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
