I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
