Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
