We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You can't motorboat a personality
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
