That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
