I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
