I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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