i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I would fuck him just for his dog
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