You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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