Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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