i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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