Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
