The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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