Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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