I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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