You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
