Dual....:-)
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
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