Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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