lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
