I skipped work to stalk him.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
