Banned from zoo.
Again?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize