Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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